In one of the stars, I shall be living

"In one of the stars I shall be living.  In one of them I shall be laughing.  And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night."  -- The Little Prince

Nine years ago today, I lost the brightest star in my sky.  I remember that first lonely night, sitting in my dark living room and looking out onto the empty street, crying the deepest tears I had ever felt, whispering to myself, over and over again, "I don't have a mother."  

What I didn't know then, and I do know now, is that the pain gets softer around the edges.  I think about her every day, but the memory does not always cause the sharp pains in my stomach or the lump in my throat.  Sometimes, I can think about her and laugh.  Other times, I wonder what she would think about decisions and milestones in my life.  Mostly, I feel her presence with me whatever I'm doing, wherever I am.  What I didn't know the night she died, and I do know now, is that I most certainly DO have a mother, and always will have one. 

Today, the sadness is there.  The missed opportunities, the things left unsaid, the future she didn't get to see.  The memories are there; the darkened nursing home, the screams of pain, the words, "She's gone."  But I know that is not what she would want us to remember.  So here, on this night of reflections, are the things my mother taught me, the lessons I gained, and what will remain with me forever:

Always take the time to wish on a star.
You are precious, you are special, you are important, you are loved.
Family first.
Laugh loudly and without apology.
Always wear sunscreen.
The people who have died are always with us.
Always keep hope.
Never go to bed angry.
Never leave the house angry.
Never tell Dad how much things really cost.
Always be the first to smile. 
Listen to others.
Be generous with your spirit, your love, and your time.
Give hugs and don't let go.
Read because you love it.
Dogs are the best source of unconditional love; be sure to love them back.
The best gifts are not the most expensive, but the most thoughtful.
There is nothing to be afraid of.
Tomorrow will always feel better.
Believe in something.
You have unlimited potential and I believe in you. 
People are inherently good. 

So Mom, tonight I remember all the positive things that you imparted in your too-brief time with us.  You were loved by so many and are missed by all who knew you and loved you, especially me.  I hope that you are proud of me and you are in my heart today and always. 

Love,
Kara